Out of the 300 Club!!

I reached my heaviest weight recently of nearly 310 pounds.  However, I am happy to say that I am now 299 pounds and have met one of my short term goals of getting out of the 300s!

I am so proud of myself, yet so ashamed at the same time.  I want to be happy, but I really am having conflicted feelings.  I want to shout it from the roof top that I am no longer 300+ pounds, but that would also involve admitting that I did once weigh that much.  I want to be happy that I've lost 11 pounds, but it's also very daunting to think that I have so far to go before I reach my goal weight.  I've lost nearly 6% of the weight that I want to, but that still leaves 94+% that I have left to lose.

When I was 21 years old, I had reached my then-heaviest weight of 240 pounds.  I was in a very complicated and abusive relationship and was very unhappy.  I picked up his bad habits of eating horribly, not exercising, and not getting good sleep due to his instabilities.  Once I dumped him, I ate better, exercised more, and got better sleep.  In 10 months, from these small changes, I lost 120 pounds!

People would tell me how great I looked, yet there was also this implication that I once looked horrible.  When I would tell people how much weight I lost, they would be happy for me, but also kinda grossed out that I was once so big.  I heard more than once, "well, you shouldn't have let yourself get so big in the first place, then you wouldn't have had to lose so much weight."  For every compliment, there seemed to be at least 10 criticisms or at least implied criticisms.

I had hoped to never get so big again, but I now weigh much more than I did back then.  At least when I was 21, I gained weight from simple and easy to correct issues.  My issues now are hormonal and way harder to correct.  I didn't gain weight during my pregnancies.  In fact, with my pregnancy with my daughter, I actually lost weight.  However, I gained 100 pounds with each kid.  I think a lot of it was the lack of sleep once again.  Breast feeding is supposed to help with combating weight gain, but I nursed both of my kids and still gained tons of weight.  My kids are now nearly-6- and nearly-8-years old, so I have more freedom to do things for myself and don't have babies and toddlers that need me 100% of the time.  Don't get me wrong, I loved having babies and loved nursing despite the weight gain.  The health was more important than my own, but I now know that I need to take care of myself in order to be there for them in the long run.

I know I need to just take it one day at a time, but I'm a long-term planner, so it's hard to focus and be proud of today.

Thanks for reading!

 ~Hot-Mommy

Sparkpeople's Biggest Loser Challenge Week 1

I started Spartpeople's 25th Biggest Loser Challenge this week.  I did pretty well.  I could have done a lot better, but life really got in the way right now.  Luckily, the kids' activities are starting to wind down.

They are currently doing:

• karate 3x per week
• baseball 3x per week
• hula dancing 1x per week
• Girl Scouts 1x per week
• Cub Scouts 3x per month

I try to do Zumba and swimming once a week and am in a book club once per month for myself.  This is the last week of baseball and karate, so life will settle down quite a bit after this and I'll have more time for myself and my goals.

Here is the scorecard for the mandatory challenge for the first week:

I learned a lot about my teammates for this challenge and found that I had quite a bit in common with people.  Probably the most challenging part of the challenge was the Freggies portion.  I had to try a new fruit or veggie or prepare them in a different way.  With sharing a car with my husband and how busy we are, it was tough finding time to go to the store to purchase new freggies.  It was surprisingly tough to pamper myself daily, too.  It definitely reinforced that I need to make myself a priority.

I did the fitness test with my kids and a neighbor girl.  For the fitness test, I was able to do 14 push-ups in one minute, 20 crunches in one minute, and my pulse was 132 after the 3 minute step test.

For the scorecard, I scored 1050 out of the possible 1200.  I didn't get a perfect score as I didn't get in the maximum amount of fitness minutes.  This was only week one, though, and I will continue to improve throughout the rest of the challenge.

This challenge and especially the fitness test has inspired me to start some sort of challenge for my Girl Scouts over this summer.  We meet tomorrow, so I will run it past them and see what they think.  I will definitely emphasize that it will be an individual challenge where they are only competing against themselves.  Every girl is at a different fitness level.

Thanks for reading!

 ~Hot-Mommy

Layering up for Zumba

I treated myself to a Zumba class tonight.  With being a SAHM/college student that shares a car with my husband, going anywhere alone is a treat.  So, I went to the gym to take a Zumba class.

The instructor of tonight's class is really into twerking and jumping.  I don't have much of a butt, so there's little that I can do about that issue, lol.  However, I am large chested.  So that I could participate fully in tonight's class, I wore a sports bra, a tank top with a built-in bra, and a looser tank top over the top.  Zumba was a lot less painful tonight, though it was more cumbersome wearing so many layers.

The instructor noticed that I kept up with the jumping a lot more tonight and complimented me a couple of times.  The slight annoyance of so many layers is worth being able to get more exercise and not be in pain.

Thanks for reading!

 ~Hot-Mommy

My Aunt, My Future?

My grandparents had seven children over the course of thirty kids and they range from about four to seven years apart each.  One of my dad's oldest sisters has been in and out of the hospital for the last month or so.

Because she is so much older than my dad, I thought of her as more as a second grandma.  She was always cheerful, but in the last few years, she has become angrier and probably more depressed.  She is probably no more than five feet tall and has been large for as long as I can remember.  I wouldn't be surprised if she is in the 300 to 400 pound range.

Anyway, back to the hospital.  I'm not really sure why she ended up there in the first place.  My dad thought that she had pneumonia, but one of my cousins mentioned a fall.  Maybe she was sick and then fell?  Regardless, she has been laid up for so long in the hospital bed that she has lost muscle tone.  She now has to live in a nursing home to get the physical therapy that she needs.  So far, it is not going well, and she has decided that it is too difficult to regain her muscle tone and walk again. 

My aunt made the decision to give up and her health is continuing to decline.  I get mad that she could just give up.  I know it can't be easy at 70-something-years old.  I can't help but look at her and wonder if this is my future if I continue on this path.  Even though I'm half a foot taller than her, I don't weigh much less than her.

Interview Clothes

It is so hard to find professional interview apparel at my size!  I have an interview on Monday afternoon at a really professional state agency.  I normally wear slacks or a dress with a nice cardigan to interviews.  This upcoming interview, however, I would prefer to wear a suit or at least a blazer.  I went to Kohl's last night to try to find a blazer or at least slacks and nothing fit me!  I know I'm a big girl.  I'm close to 300 pounds.  I understand that's pretty damn big, but it's not like I'm close to 400 pounds!  In order to fit into this selection of plus size clothes, I'd have to be about 150 pounds.  Back when I weighed that little, I didn't need to buy plus size clothes.  Honestly, it is hard to job hunt at this weight because I feel that people are judging my clothes and my appearance.  I'm working on losing weight, but there's nothing I can do if nice professional clothes don't fit me at where I am today.  I ordered a couple of khaki pants in black and beige from oldnavy.com.  I'd rather order slacks, as they look nicer and more professional, but again, I'm struggling to find clothes in my size.

 ~Hot-Mommy

Yesterday

Yesterday was a very good day exercise-wise.  My sister is living back at home with my dad, so she lives about a mile away right now.  She got home from work before my dad did, so she came over to my house to hang out to kill time.  She had 2 hours to kill, so we decided to walk to the park with my kids.  We took a wrong turn, so we had to circle around the block.  On the bright side, though, we ended up walking about 3 miles in total.

She wanted to go do Zumba afterwards.  I planned on staying home as the hubby was still working.  My dad has been pitching in a lot lately with the kids, which I really appreciate.  I wanted to give him a break, so I was going to make dinner and stay home with the kids.  My dad wanted me to work out, so he offered to take the kids.  I had a banana and almonds to tie me over, as I hadn't eaten since 11:00 that morning.  My dad made the kids dinner.

My sister and I did an hour of Zumba and then swam and sat in the hot tub for a little bit.  I hadn't been to the gym and worked out that much since she moved about 6 months ago, so I was pretty rusty at Zumba.  I noticed that I was able to put in more effort than I used to be able to do.  I tried to keep up with jumping and the steps, though I'm not as graceful as I had been when I was doing it more regularly.  My swimming isn't as strong as it used to be, but I'm able to do the same amount of laps.

When we got back to my dad's house, it was almost the kids' bedtime.  I ate one of the "fajitas" he made for dinner.  He sautes chicken, bell pepper, and a lot of pineapple in a thick, sweet teriyaki sauce and wraps it in a burrito shell.  When I got home, I had some more almonds and dried fruit.

The day before, I did an hour of Yogalates.  I'm trying to keep this streak going.  Though today was a pretty lean day for exercise.  I slept in, but I ate right and did some housework.  Let's face it, sometimes you need to pamper yourself and sleep in.  Tomorrow, I'm going to be majorly cleaning the house, as we have a Girl Scout meeting here.  I hope to get in some other form of exercise, as well, though I will be on my feet and moving all day.

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Hot-Mommy

Going up a Size...

As much as I hate buying bigger clothes, wearing clothes that are ill-fitting aren't flattering, either.  My main issue is that I'm tall.  I need to buy shirts, especially, that have a flattering fit and length.  Even when I was thin, I was never into short shirts.

I am going to help out at my children's school next weekend for a clothes swap.  This is a great time for me to go through my clothes and get rid of clothes that don't fit or I just don't like.

Most of the clothes that I don't like the fit of were gifts or hand-me-downs.  I'm pretty frugal by nature, so I have trouble turning down free cute clothes, but it doesn't really do me any favors by having a drawer full of clothes that I don't like.

I managed to find quite a few cute shirts at Walmart and online at Old Navy.  I'll post pics late of items that I'm getting rid of and my new clothes.

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Hot-Mommy

Measurements - 2/16/14

To get more serious about my weight loss goals, I am going to start taking pictures and measuring my progress.

Here is me at just about my heaviest.  Hopefully, this is the last time that I see the 300s!

And here are my measurements:

I hope to inspire or embarrass myself into working harder on my health and fitness goals.

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Hot-Mommy